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Listen: When love doesn’t pay the bills: dating outside your financial league

Mar 22, 2024

In this episode of the My Money, My lifestyle podcast, Maya is joined by Queen Malobane, Provincial General Manager at Metropolitan, as they delve into the complex intersection of money and relationships.

The romantic notion that love conquers all is challenged by the harsh reality that financial disagreements are a leading cause of discord among couples. Whether it’s differing attitudes toward money or issues around financial inequality, the power dynamics that money introduces into a relationship cannot be overlooked.

A poignant story shared during the episode is of a woman who, in an attempt to go “dutch” with her significantly wealthier partner, found herself drowning in financial distress. This anecdote serves as a springboard for discussing how to better navigate such situations and the importance of transparency and communication in relationships.

The conversation shifts to the subtler signs of financial compatibility, such as observing how a date treats service staff or addresses money with their family. These insights are invaluable for anyone navigating the dating world, as they offer a glimpse into a potential partner’s values and attitudes toward money.

As the episode progresses, it becomes clear that money in relationships isn’t just about paying bills or living within means. It’s about respect, shared values, and recognising the non-monetary contributions each partner brings to the table.

The podcast doesn’t shy away from the tough questions, such as how to deal with family members who might see a partner as a gold digger, or how to manage financial support for family members while building a life with a partner.

Malobane provides practical advice for creating a joint financial plan that accommodates income disparities without breeding resentment.

By the end of the episode, listeners are equipped with the knowledge and strategies to discuss money matters openly and honestly with their partner. It’s a reminder that while money doesn’t buy happiness, it does require management, understanding, and mutual respect to ensure it doesn’t become a wedge in a relationship.

Listen now and join the conversation on how to harmoniously merge love and finances for a healthier, happier relationship.

📋 Episode Chapters

  • (00:20) Maya introduces the topic of money and relationships
  • (02:05) Queen Malobane’s insights on dating outside your financial league, and the importance of discussing money early in relationships.
  • (06:00) Red flags to watch for on dates that indicate future financial friction
  • (10:20) The dynamics of power and control in relationships with income disparity
  • (12:40) The need for respect and appreciation of non-financial contributions in a partnership
  • (16:50) Dealing with family perceptions and setting boundaries
  • (22:20) Navigating financial support for extended family members
  • (26:45) Creating a fair and transparent joint financial plan, and the need for open communication
  • (29:55) The importance of including investments and retirement planning, and the role of a financial adviser
  • (32:15) Concluding thoughts


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Maya Fisher-French author of Money Questions Answered


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