If you want to achieve things in your life, don’t set goals; set rules.

I came across this concept in the book Clear Thinking – Turning Ordinary Moments into Extraordinary Results. The author, Shane Parrish, is the founder of the Farman Street blog and The Knowledge Project podcast.

Parrish explains that rules automate our behaviour, which then puts us in a position to achieve success and accomplish our goals.

Achieving our goals requires willpower – such as going to the gym, resisting the temptation to eat chocolate or not spending on our credit card.

Yet once we achieve our goals, we go back to our default behaviour because it involves constant decision-making and effort. We often give in to excuses, which usually involve “just this time I will… miss gym / eat that chocolate / use my credit card for Black Friday…” etc.

“Eventually it becomes easier to make excuses than to make the choices that lead us to our goals,” writes Parrish.

We need to set rules that we live by. As Parrish explains, it is easier to stick to a constant pattern of choices. I discovered this with my exercise regime, which helped me maintain my weight and stay fit.

I exercise every day and do the same form of exercise on the same day each week. There are no decisions to be made; I just get up and do it.

Create a supportive environment

However, Parrish explains that we need to create an environment that supports these rules.

In my exercise routine, I ensure there is some accountability. I joined a pilates class, which I have paid for, and would have to make an excuse not to attend. I meet friends to walk and hike, which is a way to catch up socially, and they help keep me accountable. The weight training I do at home requires some discipline, but I get my husband to hold me accountable.

I have often written about how I cannot have biscuits in my house, because I lack the willpower not to eat them. So I’ve made a rule: no biscuits at home.

I also ensure that I always have fresh vegetables in the house and make it a point to have a healthy lunch every day.

Parrish also writes about surrounding yourself with the right people to support your rules. If you go out with a group of friends and everyone orders wine, you will have wine. If they all decide to go with sparkling water instead, you will find yourself ordering sparkling water and probably forgoing the wine. We are wired to fit in with other people.

Therefore, we need to consider how we hold ourselves accountable, while also surrounding ourselves with the right type of people who will help us adhere to our rules and ultimately achieve our goals.

Financial rules can include:

• “I do not use a credit card/store card”
• “I save every month before I spend”
• “I only buy what is on my list/what I planned for”
• “I invest X percent of my salary for retirement”
• “I treat myself to only two take-away coffees a week” (this has been recently added to my rules, as my coffee spending was getting out of hand)

Examine your social circle and social media

Then, you need to examine the people who surround you, and perhaps more importantly, those you follow on social media.

Surround yourself with people who will help you to hold yourself accountable and tell them your rules. Also, actively seek out people who are disciplined with their finances and openly discuss their financial strategies and how they achieve their goals.

You can even start a WhatsApp group (although make sure this doesn’t become a platform for “hot tips” and fraudulent schemes).

Avoid people who like to “flash their cash” and splurge, who make you feel less-than if you are not keeping up. Or, if you are going out with friends who like to spend, take cash so you are limited to how much you can spend.

Re-frame your conversations from “I can’t afford this” to “I choose financial freedom”.

If you find that the time you spend on social media makes you want to spend money on things you don’t need, try to engage less with those sorts of posts so that the algorithm changes what it shows you.

Limit the time you spend on social media and be discerning about what posts you consume.

We need to be proactive in creating environments that support our goals, rather than undermining them.