There’s a common perception that we are poorer than previous generations – that these days we’re struggling much more to make ends meet.

Yet are we actually poorer than previous generations, or is it just that our baseline standards for what constitutes a “normal” life have completely shifted?

When Mapalo and I explored this question on our show Money: It’s Not Black or White, the consensus from ordinary South Africans was that we are spending vastly more on wants and convenience – whether that’s Uber Eats, higher-end cars, regular beauty treatments, or daily takeaway coffees.

Thirty years ago, eating out was a rare birthday treat; today, every second storefront is a restaurant, and dining out is an everyday fixture.

Granted, non-negotiable costs have skyrocketed. Electricity, municipal rates, and water have consistently outpaced inflation. At the same time, private security, medical aid, and private schooling have become essential for many families, effectively forcing households to pay double for basic services.

Yet beyond these structural pressures, a massive portion of the financial pressure that we experience comes from how we choose to live, socialise, and celebrate.

The financial strain of celebrations and gatherings

It isn’t just everyday conveniences draining our bank accounts. It’s also how we mark the moments that matter.

New research by the UCT Liberty Institute of Strategic Marketing reveals that nearly half (48%) of South Africans admit to overspending on their most recent celebration.

Whether it’s a milestone birthday, a Sunday braai, a religious holiday, or a December homecoming, South Africans love to gather (90% of survey respondents say they love to celebrate). But the financial strain behind these events is real.

When people overspent on their last celebration:

• 38% dipped into their savings
• 13% cut back on other basic expenses
• 11% put it on a credit or store card
• 9% borrowed money from family

What’s interesting about the research is that this overspending isn’t necessarily due to a lack of planning. People often start with a rational budget, but when the moment arrives, social pressure, fear of judgement, and the emotional desire to create memories take over.

These celebrations aren’t surprise events. According to research, the average South African attends six public-holiday gatherings, four adult birthdays, and three children’s birthdays every year.

Over 90% attended a braai or family gathering in the last year, and 63% participated in a December homecoming.

These are predictable, annual occurrences. Yet so many of us treat them as unexpected emergencies, funding them with high-interest debt or pulling money from savings meant for long-term wealth building.

This mirrors the core problem with lifestyle creep: constant comparison on social media makes us feel poor if we aren’t throwing Instagram-worthy parties or taking lavish holidays.

We take on lifestyle debt to meet perceived expectations, sacrificing our future financial security in the process.

Stop judging your reality – plan for it

As Liberty financial adviser Amanda Dusse pointed out regarding the study, the goal isn’t to tell people to stop celebrating or to live a life of total deprivation. The goal is to get real about what life actually costs.

A good financial plan shouldn’t just cover risk, retirement, and worst-case scenarios; it needs to reflect the life you are actually living.

If hosting family braais, traveling home for the holidays, or throwing birthday parties for your children matter to you, those expenses need a dedicated line item in your monthly budget, right alongside your utility bills and retirement contributions.

In my experience, when people actively take control of their spending and align it with what truly matters to them, they don’t feel deprived. There is immense relief in being back in control and knowing that your celebrations aren’t quietly wrecking your financial future.

Our children learn about money by watching how we manage it, not by listening to what we teach them. By reigning in lifestyle creep and planning intentionally for the moments that bring us joy, we show them how to build a healthy, sustainable relationship with money.